Solange?
A few days ago I would have thought that a “solange” was something you took for a sore throat. Or, someone scheming to claim the Iron Throne of Westeros.
But, apparently it is a person. It’s not a famous person, which is one of the reasons I am outraged at her demand for one-name status.
Solange sounds like one of those made-up names that some pretentious people bestow on themselves. Like Prince’s “symbol.”
Now being so egotistical works if you’re both rich and famous, it’s OK to start calling yourself P. Diddy or Brangelina. You can even get away with it, if you’re just rich. Then it is “eccentric”: “Look, Johnny Football threw another interception!”
A few legendary performers earn their single-name status; like Elvis, Madonna, Gumby or Octomom. And there is an exception for monsters and superheroes, like Godzilla or Batman.
But it’s never acceptable, never cute, never interesting when your sole claim to fame is being related to someone who is rich and famous. And that is where this so-called Solange is at.
Is she talented? Is she the reason people go to a concert or buy a CD? Heck, she’s no more talented that the longest hair on my butt – which, coincidentally, is also named Solange.
But, her sister – who qualifies for one-name status – is Beyonce. Which means Solange’s brother-in-law – who also is pre-approved for a wacky name – is Jay-Z.
This brings us to the whole reason that I now know there is a person named Solange. In the elevator of some building that Solange would never be welcome in if not for her famous kin, Beyonce’s sibling turned into a Sister Soldier and went Pearl Harbor on Jay-Z.
This is usually a very bad career move if you’re hoping to break into the entertainment business, but it’s even worse when you could potentially alienate the wealthy members of your family.
I say potentially, because while Jay-Z may be fed up with Solange, her sister seems to have mixed feelings. Beyonce stood there and let her sister attack her husband.
Ouch.
Look, if some guy smacks my wife, it doesn’t matter why – it is my job to intervene. By the same token, if some woman starts slapping and kicking me, I can’t strike her back without being a bully. So I would fully expect my wife to grab some bitch’s weave and put her pink clogs to good use!
Now, we all know that rich people live in a different world than most of us. I mean Alec Baldwin rides his bike on the wrong side of the street and it makes national news?
“Tonight – 200 Nigerian schoolgirls are kidnapped – but, first, this just in concerning Alec Baldwin …”
But now we’ll get to see if people related to the rich and famous fall under that special treatment umbrella, too. I mean if you attacked someone in an elevator – with a video of it – you’d probably be arrested by now, right?
That Solange is irritating me! And, yes, I was talking about my butt hair.